This piece is written as an extension to “Some of Us Cannot Handle Euthanasia, And That Is Okay.” Both pieces aim to convey that we’re all unique individuals who each deal with death and grief differently.
Some can shrug off the death of their pet with dignity, while others cannot. Regardless, one thing remains certain for those struggling to cope: grief changes day to day; one day might be worse than another until something triggers it back again.
Grieve and loss is something all of us experience; what works for one may or may not work for the next; please do not feel you’re grieving too much over a pet who was an important part of your family and whose loss causes intense grief for all of us involved. There are many of us out there feeling exactly like this so it is important that we all realize we’re not alone.
Grief Can Leave You Feeling Isolated
Grief may make us feel alone – there are five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining depression & acceptance), but not everyone goes through them all – I certainly didn’t go through them myself!
Grief begins for me as an overwhelming sense of isolation. While I know exactly what has transpired, the tremendous sense of loss prevents me from “standing my ground” and continuing life normally.
Grief can leave one feeling isolated from anything but themselves – while everyone around you continues their daily lives seemingly unchanged by your loss – yet for you everything has changed irrevocably.
All around you are laughing and going about their days as usual while you remain mired in grief. I know how difficult this experience can be; being left to cope alone only deepens the sorrow.
I can’t promise it will go away within five days or get any better; what I can promise, however, is that your feelings will change; what you feel today may differ tomorrow or even in one month’s time – but they will change.
My days would alternate between great and OK ones, until something would trigger all those feelings of grief all at once. Evenings usually did it for me; having spent 10+ years walking Carter every evening now he was gone from my life.
Have You Experienced Similar Feelings or Do They Fit Into What Others Expect? Everyone handles loss differently; how you cope may vary too, so take comfort knowing that no matter if it fits within what others consider “Normal”, your grief is real and should be acknowledged as such.
Experiencing Grief Can Be Difficult. Don’t Hesitate to Reach Out
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with grief, don’t be afraid to reach out for support from those closest to you who can listen without judgment and share in your feelings without making you feel isolated in your sorrow. Sometimes just having someone listen can make all the difference and reduce feelings of isolation during times of loss.
There are also support groups available for anyone grieving the loss of a pet, allowing you to connect with others experiencing similar emotions. It’s important to realize that grief is real, and you’re perfectly allowed to feel it.
Grief can be an emotionally charged topic to navigate for everyone involved – both those experiencing it directly, as well as those trying to provide support. Although most people mean well when providing aid, some in your circle might not offer immediate and meaningful help.
“Why don’t you just get another dog” or “it has only been two weeks already” were unintentional remarks but nonetheless hurtful; these made me more likely to grieve alone and forced people to offer support – though even then there may have been unintended effects from offering such words of comfort; unfortunately grief is hard for most people to talk about so support may end up saying something insensitive or insensitive instead.
Your Grief Will Ease With Time
Unfortunately, when it comes to losing a pet, the pain lingers long into the future. There’s no set number of tears or bad days you need to endure before things start looking up again; everyone responds differently; for some of us it takes longer for things to return to “normal.”
What I can assure you of is that whatever emotions are running through your mind today will likely change over time – possibly tomorrow, next week or even next month – because grief is ever-evolving; some days it hits us before breakfast while other days it might only surface near bedtime – either way it’s always present somewhere along its spectrum of severity.
Grief will pass; give yourself time – whether that means one week, six months, or years. Don’t feel isolated during this process; there are many people going through similar situations right now who can offer support if you feel lost and isolated. Reach out for assistance now if necessary if feeling helpless!
